Sex, Lies, and Congressman Weiner

Another sex scandal? They’re coming so fast now I can hardly keep up with them.  Are men in power acting “like pigs” as the May 30 Time Magazine accuses them of.  Take a look at this article in Time Magazine last week: http://www.time.com/time/covers/0,16641,20110530,00.html

On the matter of Weiner, this guy has all the signs and symptoms of sexually addictive behaviors.  You might think his arrogance is shocking then be fooled by his willingness to apologize over and over again.  Don’t let the apology fool you.  He will act out again if he doesn’t get help because he can’t stop himself.

Let’s see what happens…

Heavy Internet porn use is not fun

Men, women, and teens are getting caught in the web of on-line pornography and, sometimes, can’t get out.  With the advent of more free porn than ever before and high levels of accessibility, porn addiction is on the rise.

A study in the UK of 1,057 adults aged 18-24 shows that looking at more than 10 hours a week of porn can have detrimental effects on desire for sex with a partner. Porn is rapidly becoming a substitute for actual sex because, for one thing,  it takes less work than intimate engagement with a partner.  Attaching to pornography can negatively impact the users ability to get aroused with a real person, and it can sometimes take months before a natural sexual arousal will return.

The article states:

Men who look at porn for 10 hours a week are much more likely to worry it is influencing their behaviour, the survey suggested.

Higher numbers of those heavy users said their porn viewing had upset a partner or caused them to miss a meeting at work.

Men looking at porn for at least 10 hours a week were also more likely to say it can put them off real-life sex.

To read the article go to: http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/12918531.

Scientists discover new stress neuropathway

Everyone experiences some kind of stress in their lives but traumatic stress impacts some people more than others. It seems that some people are more susceptible to the impact of stress on the brain, creating anxiety or depressive disorders.  Sex addicts, and sometimes their partners, can suffer from both anxiety or depression or both due to childhood trauma.

Here is an excerpt from the study:

“The study found that the emotional centre of the brain – the amygdala – reacts to stress by increasing production of a protein called neuropsin. This triggers a series of chemical events which in turn cause the amygdala to increase its activity. As a consequence, a gene is turned on that determines the stress response at a cellular level.”

To read the article, go to:

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/222991.php#bXpulseX

Excessive internet porn usage leads to erectile dysfunction

How can excessive Internet porn usage lead to ED?

The brain gets fatigued from viewing the intense and highly graphic pornographic images that are available on-line, making real people less arousing.  When a real, attractive person comes into contact with an excessive Internet porn user, the brain of the porn user doesn’t recognize the person as novel enough to produce dopamine so the body doesn’t get a signal for arousal. In other words, the real person doesn’t activate the dopamine system in the brain so no excitement registers.

The trap is that porn can eventually become an addiction, rendering the user sexually impotent when they try to have real sex with another person.  Take a look at this dramatic and clear article at

http://goodmenproject.com/guy-talk/swearing-off-porn-saved-my-sex-life/

Let us know what you think!

Is your partner cheating on you?

Did you know that 50-70% of married men cheat?! AND, 2/3 of all women being cheated on have no idea.  If you think your spouse is cheating then they probably are.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/agi-smith/im-divorced-but-the-shame_b_817109.html?ref=email_share

TIME Magazine questions sex addiction as a bona fide problem

The battle continues on whether sex addiction is really a problem of addiction or bad behavior.  I contend that what we call “sex addiction” is really a problem of unresolved childhood trauma that leads to repetitive, often destructive behaviors.

Take a look at this article and let us know what you think by clicking the comment button below.

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2050027,00.html

Alternatives to the sex addiction model

Bill Hearing in Atlanta, Georgia has written a terrific article in order to reach people who don’t get the help they need because they resist the word “addict”.  He writes, “It seems to me that there are only a
few other words they can use, and each carries its own profound implication
that people often choose to overlook, generally to their own detriment.”

To read this article, click on the link below and let us know what you think.

http://billherring.info/atlanta_counseling/alternatives-to-the-sex-addiction-model

He’s just not into anyone

New York Magazine writer, Davy Rothbart, takes us on an honest journey of what watching too much pornography can do to mens ability to keep an erection or ejaculate. He never talks about “addiction” to porn or cybersex addiction, but he makes it clear that porn affects the brain/bodies of men who overindulge.

See for yourself:

http://nymag.com/news/features/70976/


Story of a “dark marriage”- living with a sex addict

Sally Ryder Brady reveals a life of abuse in her marriage to an alcoholic and sex addict.   This memoir, written by a widow who discovered, upon her husband’s death after almost 50 years of marriage, that he had a double life, affairs with men and gay porn, and he was $70 thousand dollars in debt.  The memoir is about her reflecting back on her life and trying to figure out “what do I know that I didn’t know I knew until now?”  Her husband, a well-regarded editor of Atlantic Monthly, was an emotionally abusive alcoholic and she of course, had grown up in an abusive family, making her a primary candidate to marry an addict.

To read more in-depth reviews of the book and to order the book, go to the link below:

http://www.amazon.com/box-darkness-story-marriage/dp/B004JBR1XA

Sexual Behaviors in the United States: A Study

Michael Reece, Ph.D. and his colleagues at the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University
recently released results from the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior (NSSHB), a study based on answers from 5,865 Americans between the ages of 14-94. “This survey is one of the most expansive
nationally representative studies of sexual behavior and condom use ever conducted, given the 80-year span of [participants’] ages,” Reece says. The Journal of Sexual Medicine publishednine papers (using NSSHB data) by Indiana University researchers in its October issue. In addition to Reece, the research team included
Debby Herbenick, PhD, Stephanie Sanders, PhD, J. Dennis Fortenberry, MD, MS, VanessaSchick, PhD, and Brian Dodge, PhD. Sex Therapy Los Angeles

Perhaps the most wide-ranging of the studies is titled, “Sexual Behaviors in the United States: Results from
a National Probability Sample of Men and Women Aged 14-94.” That report includes data on masturbation (alone and partnered), oral sex (receiving and giving), vaginal intercourse and anal intercourse (receiving
and inserting) categorized by nearly a dozen age ranges.

Among the findings:
• The proportion of people having vaginal sex is highest for men ages 25-39 and women ages 20-
29. As might be expected, the frequency of vaginal sex declines with age.

• Masturbation is common among all age groups, but never dips below 33 percent (for those masturbating alone at least once in the past year). The highest rates were among individuals ages 25-29: 84 percent for men and 72 percentfor women.
• Oral sex was rare among 14- to 15-year-olds, but 18 percent of 16- to 17-year-old males and 22 percent of 16- to 17-year-old females engaging in oral sex in the past year.
• About one-fifth of men ages 25-49 and women ages 20-39 engaged in anal sex in the past year.

Reprinted from: Contemporary Sexuality www.aasect.org | December 2010 Vol. 44, No. 12