Getting “high” on the feeling of love by Aaron Alan

Love addiction manifests in a person’s life when they become dependent on the object of their love.  Whereas sex addicts are addicted to the “high” of being aroused, love addicts are addicted to the “high” of feeling in love.  Their addiction can take the form of putting others needs before their own well-being, trying to control others so that they can get their needs met, often at the other’s expense.  A key way to identify dependent love is how the person feels when the other shows disapproval.  In love addiction, when the love object threatens to leave, either physically or psychologically, desperate behaviors tend to escalate.  Dependent love is always self-serving and a way to avoid looking more deeply at oneself.

The excitement most people feel when they meet a person they are romantically interested in is a normal part of the bonding experience. However, a love addict pushes this excitement to euphoric levels by engaging is compulsive fantasy, imagining ideal love, feeling instant closeness and a complete connection. This euphoria is the “drug of choice” for the love addict. This is their high; which is commonly accompanied by poor decision making because love addicts believe relationships to be closer and more meaningful, particularly in their beginning stages, than they actually are. As a result, love addicts may commit to a relationship much sooner and more intensely than that relationship can in reality tolerate. This leads to engaging in behaviors that are too early and inappropriate for the relationship, such as having sex, moving in together, committing to partnership or marriage, and commingling money, to name a few. These developments frequently lead to problems in the relationship, which the love addict has difficulty attributing as a result of their own poor boundaries and decisions. The problem is either externalized and blamed on the shortcomings of their partner (i.e. “it’s his/her fault, not mine”) or all the blame is assumed as it is internalized and attributed to their own worthiness (i.e., “if I were a better lover, then this wouldn’t have happened,” etc.). Either way, the actual problem is never addressed and the cycle is eventually repeated.

If you worry that you may be love addicted, go the the web site for Sex and Love Addict’s Anonymous and take the test:  Sex Addiction Los Angeles

Recognizing cyber sex addiction

I seem to post a lot of articles on this topic because internet porn addiction is becoming a huge problem daily.  As the internet grows in popularity, more and more people of all walks of life experiement with sex on-line.  Porn Addiction Los Angeles

Experimenting is great if it stops at that.  However, many people get trapped in the net and can’t get out.  Becoming obsessed with having sex on-line is no joke and stopping can be painful. 

This site offers a great cybersex addiction check-list.  If you think you have a problem, take the test and get help fast.  Giving up cyber-sex can be difficult so the sooner you get help, the better.

The Porn Trap

If you are looking for a comprehensive book on what porn addiction is and what to do about it, look no further.  “The Porn Trap” by Wendy and Larry Maltz is a terrific, easy to read book that will give you all the information and understanding you need.

Whether you or a loved one are struggling with this problem, this book is for you.  To learn more about “The Porn Trap” and Maltz and Associates, visit their web site:

After you read the book, click ont the comment button below and let us know what you think. Sex Addiction Los Angeles

Professional Consultation Course For Therapists

Attend a day of professional consultation and training to develop your professional and personal skills dealing with sexual addiction and trauma.  Quality case consultation is at the center of developing effective skills for treating Sexual Addiction and Related Intimacy Disorders.  This 6 hour workshop will provide case consultation using the Task Centered Approach for the treatment of Sexual Addictions developed by Dr. Patrick Carnes.

Therapeutic competencies vital to the treatment of Sexual Addiction will be
discussed and practiced in a safe and professional environment.  The format
will be lecture, small group discussion and informal case presentation.  The
privacy and confidentiality of participants and clients will be respected
throughout the workshop.

Clinical issues will include:
           *Transference and Counter-Transference
*Recovery Process
           *Family and Significant Other Work
*Disclosure Issues
           *Referral and Case Management issues
*Ethics and Legal Issues

Workshop Facilitator:
Steven DeLugach, MS, LPC has been treating Sexual Addicts and their families
since 1989.  He has 20 years of experience working with Chemical Dependents,
Survivors of Sexual Abuse and Sexual Addicts.  He is a Certified Sexual
Addictions Therapist Supervisor {CSAT} and is the Chair the International
Institute for Trauma & Addiction Professionals {IITAP} Professional
Certification Board.

           Monday June 23rd, 2008
               9:00 AM to 4:30 PM
           Lunch will be provided on site.

           4700 SW Macadam Ave, Suite 101
           Portland, Oregon 97239
           $185 for the workshop, which includes lunch.

           CSAT candidates can receive 6 hours of CSAT case consultation or
CEU’s by presenting a case during the workshop.

Certificates of Completion will be issued.

To register contact my office at 503-233-5827.
Please register by phone before June 16th 2008.

Thanks for your support and interest in the field of Addiction and Intimacy,

Sex Addiction Los Angeles