Christians struggling with sex addiction

With Eliot Spitzer having to step down from his position as Governor of New York in such a publically humiliating fashion, I think sex addiction has finally come out of the closet. Sex Addiction Los Angeles

In this article from Christianity Today, you will see that the Christian community is availing itself more and more to the facts that this problem can strike anyone.  This problem, like all addictions, does not discriminate when it comes to status, race, or religion.

Here’s a quote from the article:

“A widely recognized authority, Patrick Carnes, author and executive director of the Gentle Path program at Pine Grove Behavioral Health and Addiction Services in Mississippi, estimates that 8 percent of adult men and 3 percent of adult women become sexually addicted at some point in their lives (this article will focus on the greater problem, male sexual addiction). That means roughly 12 million or more Americans may have this disorder. ”

To read the entire article, go to

Travel tip for recovering sex addicts

Often sex addicts in recovery most struggle with their sexual sobriety when they are away from home on business trips, staying in hotel rooms.  Leaving ones routine, home meetings, and general lack of accountability can have the addictive behaviors blind-siding a person when they least expect it. Sex Addiction Los Angeles

Pay-per view in hotel rooms can be one of the biggest temptations and a battle not everyone wins, especially in early recovery. is a network of lodging facilities that – based on some of the best research available – do not offer in-room, “adult” (pornographic) pay-per-view movies.

If you are an addict in recovery, travelling alone, you might want to take an extra step to protect yourself from slipping, check out this website:

Sexual dysfunction in men

Too many men assume they are in serious trouble when they loose their erections during sex play or intercourse or when they ejaculate too rapidly.  This is a very common problem and nothing to be alarmed or ashamed about. Sex Therapy Los Angeles

The first reaction is to assume medicine is the answer because we are trained to look for quick fixes in our culture.  If this is a problem for you, and assuming there is no medical condition causing the problem, consider that your problems are most likely anxiety driven.

That’s right, anxiety!  When you are not present during sex you’re body will let you know.  Worrying that you won’t be able to keep your erection, thinking about other things, not connecting with your partner, and/or being absent from the sensations in your body can all lead to erectile dysfunction.

If you would like to read more about this problem, take a look at “Resurrecting Sex” by David Schnarch, Ph.d.

You can also check out this website or find a sex therapist who can help you.

Gov. Eliot Spitzer’s Sex Addiction

This is by far the most intelligent article I’ve seen on why Eliot Spitzer qualifies as a sex addict.  He was highly ritualized in his preparation for acting out and highly compartmentalized in the ways he managed his life.  He was also reported to be quite “private” (i.e. isolated) having no real close friends. 

Preoccupation, ritualization, social isolation and compartmentalization are all earmarks of sex addiction. Sex Addiction Los Angeles

To understand more on how the brain works and how Mr. Spitzer could have proceeded with these behaviors in the face of prosecuting others who did, read this Forbes article.

Eliot Spitzer

This week another powerful man in our country fell from grace.  But this shocking news event is not so shocking on the heels of Senator Craig and Ted Haggard’s behaviors, and I don’t think we’ll ever forget Bill Clinton’s sexual indiscretion. It seems like these events are coming faster and closer to one another as time goes on and we all shake our heads and ask “why?” 

Why would someone so seemingly together with a future so bright throw it all out the window?   There’s no sound intellectual reason for this because we’re asking, “why do smart men do such profoundly dumb things?”  Entitlement, compartmentalization, and denial work in ways to shut out the intellect.  Emotions run high when a person is used to being in a position of power and actually “gets off” on that power.

High risk sex like hiring prostitutes, having anonymous sex in a bathroom or having sex with an employee all create an adrenaline rush that can make a person feel euphoric and invincible.  People in power positions often delude themselves into believing that they won’t get caught. Sex Addiction Los Angeles

These kind of sexual behaviors can lead a person to wanting more and more to the extent they forget about everything that’s important to them.  They are in a dissociative state so nothing matters but the experience and the “high.”

We can only hope that Mr. Spitzer finds his way to getting the kind of help he needs and that his family finds some way to heal from the pain we can only imagine they are going through.

For more details on what exactly happened to Elliot Spitzer you can go to the CNN website at

Sex addiction and its related behaviors

Here’s an easy to read article on what sex addiction is and isn’t and some typical behaviors.  Of course, sexually addictive patterns are different for everyone.  Not all sex addicts have the same motivations or engage in the same behaviors.  Typically, early childhood trauma is the driving force behind the often destructive behaviors.

Sex Addiction Los Angeles

For more information on this topic, take a look at this article and let us know what you think by clicking the comment button below.

The brain and sex addiction

From February 28 – March 1, the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals gathered in Phoenix, Arizona at the Black Mountian Conference Center for their third annual symposium titled, “It’s all About the Brain.

Dr. Charles Parker was the keynote speaker and he kicked off the conference talking about the importance of looking at the brain via SPECT scanning.  This innovative process allows for an actual look at the sex addicts brain to better determine exactly what’s going on.  Often sex addicts have deficits in the brain due to early childhood attachment trauma, actual blows to the head via accident’s, and/or due to excessive drug and alcohol abuse.  Sex Addiction Los Angeles

Dr. Patrick Carnes pioneering leader in the field of sexual addiction, is empahsizing the importance of changing the brain via intensive focus in order for the sex addict to stay sexually sober over time and to effect long-term positive change.  Dr. Carnes task-centered approach is what we use at the Center for Healthy Sex when treating sex addicts.

For more on this topic, visit Dr. Parker’s web blog at: