There are a lot of “functioning” addicts out there, whatever that means!  People who are highly compartmentalized can “function” in life.  That means, they can fool their partners, their bosses, and even themselves, for awhile.  Eventually though, the addiction always catches up with them.

In the tradition of the 12-steps “unmanagability” really means “messes.”    People who are involved in any kind of addiction will always have some mess in their lives because they favor the addictive behaviors over taking care of their needs and their responsabilities.  These messes are a result of the addiction and are considered evidence for how the addict’s life has become unmanagable.

Unmanagability can range from being chronically late to work, not being fully present with your kids, getting caught in lies, loosing a job, getting arrested, feeling like a fraud, drifting apart from your friends and family, giving up hobbies, missing opportunities, etc.  The list goes on and on. Sex Addiction Los Angeles

If you care to share any moments of unmanagability due to your addiction, we would love to hear from you.  Please click the comment button below.


The Center for Healthy Sex (CHS) treats a broad spectrum of sexual disorders including; sex addiction, low sexual desire and sexual dysfunction. The experienced, highly skilled clinical staff of CHS offers intensive individual and group psychotherapy.

For more information visit www.thecenterforhealthysex.com or call 310.335.0997
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2 Responses

  1. Mark Brouwer:

    Great article again Alexandra! I refer to it in this post. Hope you’re doing well.

    Posted on February 18th, 2008 at 10:14 pm

  2. David C:

    I prefer messes to unmanageability. I realized that I have given up every hobby I ever had – I was a great cook, I went to dance and concerts, I collected music, etc. All gone or greatly diminished. Got to the point after my wife left where I was holding onto a job by the barest of threads and then acting out or recovering from acting out all the rest ofthe time

    Posted on March 13th, 2008 at 1:39 pm

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