Senator Larry Craig and the Defenses of Sexual Addiction

Aaron Alan, M.A., Sex Addiciton Specialist at the CENTER FOR HEALTHY SEX writes:

It has recently come to light that uber-conservative U.S. Senator Larry Craig (R-ID) pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor disorderly conduct charge stemming from a Jun 11th arrest in a men’s restroom at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport for engaging in lewd conduct with an undercover police officer. The officer stated in his report that Craig appeared versed in the subtle signs used to identify willing sex partners in public places. As part of his plea agreement, Craig was fined $1000 and sentenced to ten days in jail, which was deferred to one year’s probation.

Craig now declares he did nothing wrong, that his actions in the airport men’s restroom were misconstrued and he was set up by the police. He’s even gone so far as to bash the “liberal gay agenda” for smearing him. Interestingly, though, the Senator has asked the people of Idaho, his constituency, to forgive him. This is a curious tack as he maintains he is innocent and did nothing wrong or untoward. Why ask for forgiveness if no crime or misstep occurred? This is perplexing and seems contradictory.

If Senator Craig’s behavior is applied to a sexual addiction framework, then contradictions become much clearer and even understandable. I am not diagnosing Craig as a sexual addict, but his actions and subsequent claims about his actions align quite well with what is known about sexual addiction and sexual compulsivity. Whatever his actual clinical diagnosis, his actions point to, at the very least, problematic sexual behavior.

In all likelihood, covert sexual activity in some form has been present for quite some time in Craig’s life. While the actual behavior may have evolved over the years, the function it serves in his life has probably remained constant, which is to tolerate his mood, feelings and emotions as well as to feel connected to another person without risking emotional abandonment. These are the functions served by sexual addiction.

Read more…

Sex and Relationships

Here’s a new web site worth taking a look at.  It’s called "Sex and Relationships" and it’s full of useful information and resources on sex and sexuality.  As people grow into adulthood, It’s important to create a healthy attitude towards sex and understand the realities of a good sex life.  You have to ask yourself important questions like "What does healthy sex mean to me?"  "What are the components of good sex for me?"  "Do I compare myself to what I imagine others are doing?"  In other words, "Who am I sexually?"

Often we are influenced and mislead by what we read in books and see in movies without understanding that each person has their own unique sexual style and what they like and dislike based on family of origin influences, cultural overlays and sexual history. 

Take time to explore what’s true for you and create intimacy with your own self and body.  When you feel confident with what’s true for you regarding your sexuality, then you can communicate these things to your partner. 

For more information go to http://www.sex-and-relationships.com/information.html

Study shows abstinence doesn’t impact unprotected sex

There is a lot of controversy as to whether abstinence programs work and if they do, what areas they most impact.

Abstinence is the primary directive for sex education in the United States today and has supporters in the UK.  The British Medical Journal stated that an Oxford University team "found abstinence programmes had no negative or positive impact on the rates of sex infections or unprotected sex."

For the complete story go to the BBC news at http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6927733.stm

Sex in the muslim world

Heba Kotb, a Muslim sex therapist was interviewed by the LA Times about sex.  She gives her opinions on "vibrators, foreplay, premature you-know-what and why more men can’t seem to locate the G-spot."

Based in Cario, she is a public figure with a TV show called "Big Talk" which is popular across the Arab world. She believes in talking about sex explicitly as it relates to the Koran and the muslim world. 

For the complete article, go to: http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/asection/la-fg-sextalk29jul29.1.4308509.story?ctrack=1&cset=true

Are you uncomfortable with sex?

Some people have an aversion to sex but really want to learn to engage with others.  Others feel starved for physical comfort but don’t know how to connect.  Here are six points that The World Health Organization uses to define sexual health:

1. The ability to talk about sex and sexuality

2. .Sexual anatomy functioning

3.  Sexual health care

4. Awareness of healthy sexual behaviors

5. Self acceptance

6. Positive sexuality

Here’s an interesting article on sex therapy and the use of sexual surrogacy for more on this topic:

http://www.mindhacks.com/blog/2007/07/the_controversial_st.html