Help for Sexual Addiciton in the Bay Area

If you live in the Bay Area and are in need of information and/or help for issues related to sexual addiction, contact Sexaddicthelp.com
You will find this group of independent Bay Area Psychotherapists offer quality counseling and psychotherapy to individuals, couples and families struggling with sexual addiction and sexual compulsion issues, and related relationship issues. 
Their site also features numerous book, web resources and 12-step program information.
If you want to talk to someone, contact Mark Robinett, MFT
415-221-3182 and he will be able to answer your questions.

I’m not the one with the problem…

Often times partners or loved ones of addicts believe they have no part in the addicts behavior. Not so true. Although the addict is responsible for his/her own behavior, the significant people in their lives do have a part to play and that’s where the journey begins. Most of the time, a client who is dealing with addiction of a loved one will ask me, “What can I do about them?”

The answer, paradoxically, is to learn how to take care of yourself. This will create a trickle-down effect. Recovery for a loved one of an addict (child, spouse, co-worker, friend, etc.) begins with the admission that you are powerless over people, places and things…including the addict. The only thing you have control over is your own actions and reactions. If we learn to stay “on our side of the street” and take our own inventory, not theirs, we will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. (pg. 83, Alcoholics Anonymous).

Therapy and/or 12-step programs, for example Al-Anon, S-Anon, or CODA, are where the significant others are going to find their solutions. Usually the answer to your problem lies within yourself. With professional help and guidance, partners and loved ones can find a new freedom and a new happiness, whether or not the addict recovers. It’s not an easy path but it is entirely possible to succeed with the right support. I encourage anyone dealing with addiction in their lives to seek some professional help and suppport. It’s the best thing you can do for you AND the addict.

For more information about support for family members you can contact Jill Vermeire, MFT at www.mytherapistjill.com

Sex Therapy Los Angeles

Sex Addiction Los Angeles

What does sex mean to you?

Do you have a limited sexual repetoire with your partner?  Are you squemish about trying new things with your loved one?  Do you feel sexually bored?  You’re not the only one.  Apparently, one in three Americans over-report the frequency in which they have sex. Sex Addiction Los Angeles

This is a tough topic because so MANY magazines, tv shows, books, videos, experts, etc. give us so many versions of what sex means.  But what does sex mean to you?  I tend to think that sex is really about the meaning we give it.  It can be erotic, sweet, fun, passionate, deeply loving or intense.  Any sex act can make you feel liberated, free and open or shamed, dirty or embarrassed depending on the meaning it has to you.

So think again when your partner asks you to try something sexually and notice your initial reaction.  If you haven’t already, maybe you should ask yourself some questions like what does each sex act (intercourse, anal sex, oral sex ) mean to me?  What would it mean for me to try it? How did I come to that meaning?  How do I know if I really don’t like something or if I’m just afraid to try something new? Are their ways I deny myself pleasure because of beliefs other people have imposed on me?  Would I be defined by the sexual act or is that a judgment I have?

Talk about your concerns with your partner in order to reduce shame so you can grow into your sexual potential.  Being very clear about what sex means to you is the first step to having great sex and communicating it to your partner is the next step.  These two step help to create a deeper connection, intimacy and great sex.

What do sex addicts look like?

People have a lot of misconceptions about what sex addiction is and what your “average” sex addict looks like.  Ignorance, as usual, can have people thinking of images of the scary guy in a trench coat hanging out on a street corner.

Sex Addiction Los Angeles

In fact, most sex addicts look like you and me.  They’re your neighbor, doctor, secretary, lawyer, school teacher, well, you get the picture.  When you learn about this problem that a friend of loved one has, go easy on them.  Remember, they’re in pain and need help.

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/brothers/238438_joyce20.html

Marriage Tips and Resources

This is a nice site that provides a lot of resources regarding weddings, marriage, cybersex addiction and divorce.  Here is the blurb taken from their site.  You can go there by clicking here: http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/

Marriage matters at 2-in-2-1

- the one place to come to shape, enrich, maintain or repair your marriage!

Marriage, from planning your wedding, to enriching and enhancing your couple relationship, support through marital problems, and even the challenges of breakdown and divorce is what 2-in-2-1 is all about.

Sex Therapy Los Angeles

Sex Addiction Los Angeles

If you visit their site, let us know what you think by clicking the comments button below.

Falling in love and the brain

In May, 2005 a study was released looking at romantic love and how it effects the brain.  We all have had the experience of falling in love and feeling a little euphoric, and at times, out of control.  Inexplicable behaviors like talking on the phone for hours, yelling the beloved’s name out of the car window, singing songs to voice mails, etc. are evidence of this phenomenon.

Sex Addiction Los Angeles

There is some explaination for this.  A new study shows that romantic love is distinct from sexual arousal and is more a biological urge like food or thurst.  It seems that over time, romantic love fades and can embed itself deep into the brain where attachments get formed.

Romantic love is so powerful that it can have a person staying up all night or going to the gym at 6 a.m.  It can also have people commiting crimes of passion when the loss is painful.

For a deeper understanding of this topic and more details about the study go to:

http://www.smartsextalk.com/PDF/0509_love_brain.pdf