The Cycle of Sexual Addiction

Sexual acting out in an addicitive way typically starts with a need for control.  When a person has a set of stong feelings they usually have a need for something. Sex Addiction Los Angeles

For example, anger produces the need for vailidation and the need to be understood and heard; sadness can produce the need for soothing or to be held; joy the need for validation and connection, etc.   Well, you get the picture and I’m sure you could continue on with this line of thinking.  Anyway, these feelings create dependency needs that are generally needs in relation to other people.

This inability to get needs met often begins in childhood, so when a really smart kid doesn’t get his or her needs met the kid learns “I can handle things myself.”  The next time he or she has a need the kid figures things out alone, begins to learn not to have needs or leans not to respond to them.  This is the perfect environment for the making of an addict.

So, addiction is partly a learned behavior.  At some point in the sex addict’s life, sexual behaviors became a way to feel better.  Thiese sexual behaviors become coping mechanisms because the experience of getting needs met in a consistent, intimate way from the adults around them was missing.  To be continued…


The Center for Healthy Sex (CHS) treats a broad spectrum of sexual disorders including; sex addiction, low sexual desire and sexual dysfunction. The experienced, highly skilled clinical staff of CHS offers intensive individual and group psychotherapy.

For more information visit or call 310.335.0997
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