The Cycle of Sexual Addiction II

Okay, we established that when sex addicts have feelings and they don’t know how to get them met, they seek control.  They try to handle the feelings by making them go away.  Sex addicts will turn to fantasy and preoccupation, which is the beginning of the addictive cycle.

At this point, addicts report being in a lot of fantasy, feeling like they’re in a trance or the “bubble” or just being in some other reality.  The person becomes a hostage of their own head as they try to escape from pain, negative self-valuation, fear of other’s judgments, etc.  Sex Addiction Los Angeles

Patrick Carnes, Ph.D. talks about the “hijacked brain.”  It’s a little like when you’re late for an appointment and you’re rushing around.  All you can focus on is getting to where you need to go, there’s no other reality.

When the sex addict is in this state, others become objects to be judged, sexualized, pursued, hunted, sought, and checked-up on.  All kinds of misperceptions occur like mistaking intensity for intimacy, obsession for caring and control for security.  To be continued…


The Center for Healthy Sex (CHS) treats a broad spectrum of sexual disorders including; sex addiction, low sexual desire and sexual dysfunction. The experienced, highly skilled clinical staff of CHS offers intensive individual and group psychotherapy.

For more information visit or call 310.335.0997
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