The next phase of the cycle is the ritualization phase. This consists of special routines that are created to intensify the preoccupation, which adds arousal, excitement and a sense of control. The rituals include but are not limited to: cruising, choice of clothing and/or music, cleaning the house in order to create the right “vibe” to act out in, etc. The rituals can be a further distraction from feelings of unloveability and worthlessness. Sex Addiction Los Angeles
The actual acting out phase is the shortest in the cycle. The behaviors include but are not limited to: affairs, compulsive masturbation, use of pornography, cybersex, secrecy, exhibitionism, voyeurism, indecent calls or touch, strip clubs, anonymous sex, etc.
Finally, sex addicts often report that despair begins shortly after the sexual act has occured. Despair is utter hopelessness, sadness, desperation and fear over powerlessness. It can come in the form of guilt “I have done something bad,” and/or shame “I am a bad person.”
The cycle becomes viscious when the sense of failing oneself and others and not keeping promises begins to erode and further damage the person’s integrity and self-esteem. This is when hopelessness and helplessness begin to move in. In the worst case, this despair can lead to suicidal thoughts, which can be escaped through going back to the preoccupation state and repeating the cycle.
It is only when someone has hit a personal “bottom” that they typically seek help.
To learn more about this cycle, take a look at http://www.sexaddicthelp.com/Articles/addiction_cycle.htm
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. Aug 20, 2005
Filed under: sexual addiction, sexual addiction